March 31, 2014 by Kara Nichols
My doctor burst through the door and said “You look so great! Why are you here for a diet consultation?”
I briefly told her my history with diets and she said that because I’m well-educated, and I *know* what to do as far as eating goes (which is only partly true), that I should consider counseling/life coaching instead of seeing a dietician. She said a dietician may be helpful, but that she could almost guarantee that my insurance wouldn’t cover it because I’m not diabetic. I definitely can’t afford to pay out of pocket at this time, so I’m putting the dietician route on hold for now.
I have a long history with counselors and it’s never been pretty. The first time I went to one was in high school and I just sat there silently for the entire 50 minutes giving the poor guy the evil eye. I didn’t say a word because I didn’t want to be there. I am sure I rolled my eyes and would have said “WTF” if that was cool during the late 90s.
I’ve tried two counselors since moving to Virginia 4 years ago. One told me that some people use depression as a type of vacation. I mean, I think in some cases there is an element of choice when it comes to depression: it’s easy to feed the monster. But that wasn’t the case for me and I was put off from her and cancelled all of my following appointments. Next I saw this dude and I just couldn’t open up to him, maybe because he was obsessed with using sports analogies. Eventually one session he said “I don’t think you need to see me anymore. I think you are doing great.” (I must have been lying to him or just not divulging like I should). I agreed with him, and moved on. Oh! I just remembered, I saw one other counselor here in Lynchburg. She was a really nice Christian lady. She prayed before and after each session, which was cool. But I didn’t connect with her.
I may have goldilocks complex when it comes to counselors. Some are too hot, some are too cold, and I’m looking for the one that is “just right.” Growing up with a psychologist for a dad definitely mixed things up a bit. Now that I’m more mature I love going to him for counsel and advice but as a teenager I felt like I was being analyzed and judged all of the time. Looking back I think that’s just the curse of any teenager and had very little to do with his profession.
Now, I am willing and ready to get some work done and finding a counselor that accepts my health insurance is proving to be tricky. I’ve called 5 places with no luck. One life coach wrote back and said he charges $200 an hour. Just a little out of my price range – also maybe I will become a life coach once I get myself up and running! Anyway, I was hoping to secure an appointment by the end of the day because I’m anxious to get started. In the meantime, I have two projects that could be considered “self-coaching.” (is that even a thing?)
First I am participating in the More to Love class with Rachel Estapa for the next month. I “met” her on a Facebook group about my new favorite book: Health at Every Size. Rachel read one of my blog entries and liked what I had to say. It’s kind of a risk to participate in this class, I honestly don’t know that much about her or the program, but I do know that she loves her body and she’s a certified life coach. I love her attitude and I want to learn how to love my body as the size it is now, not the size it *could* be. I want to be done with diets and open to self-acceptance.
Secondly, I am doing Creating Your Life Plan with Donald Miller. I recently read his book Storyline and it was INCREDIBLY helpful to me as far as how to define and pursue my dreams in practical ways. I can’t wait to do Creating Your Life Plan. I expect great things will come out of it. He says in the introduction: “Most people spend more time planning their vacation than they spend planning their lives, so it’s no wonder so many people come to the end of their lives and experience regret. They realize, too late, they should have paid more attention to their dreams, taken more risks, spent more time investing in relationships, and less time focusing on their failures or tragedies.” So true. I want to reach the end of my life and have people say that I loved God and loved people.